Well, hubby and J had their first run at soccer tonight. It was an adaptive program through Kidsability so all the other kids there were going to be at different learning levels and all ages. First off- you have to know that we did soccer a few years ago when he was 18 months and we left feeling horrible. At that time we had no inclination that our little boy was different. He was our first born, and we had nothing to compare him to. Looking back now, we see the signs- but at the time he was just 'him'.
While all the other kids are easily kicking the ball, playing the drills, learning to score goals- our son is running around oblivious to everyone and the ball. We remember the specific moment when we asked ourselves - "is there something wrong with our son?" Shortly there after we started down the path of diagnosis and with lots of pushing he was diagnosed 6 months later with moderate-severe ASD.
So, this time around it was suggested he try soccer by his physiotherapist. He has some difficulty catching the ball, kicking it with a purpose, and in general- taking turns. We thought, an adaptive program might be what we need. Somewhere where he won't stick out so much, where he might be able to participate and understand what to do, somewhere were there will be other kids who have just as much difficulty as he does. How great. For once we might feel like our son is successful compared with other peers, instead of a constant reminder how difficult and different things are.
One the great side of things, J LOVED it. He had a great time, and really enjoyed himself. It's also nice to know that all the parents there 'know' there is something different about all the kids- so there is an understanding that it's ok if he isn't acting how others might. On the other side, Hubby said it was just like before. He left feeling deflated, saddened, and in general, disappointed. J was still running around without a purpose. While all the kids were able to participate in drills, circle time, etc... ours was oblivious to any routine that might be happening. Peers would come up to him and he look and run away, unable to participate with them. It's so difficult because we have our normal day to day, where we celebrate when he hugs us, or listens and understands simple requests, or asks verbally for something- all the little things that just 'are'. We grow so used to our normal, that it isn't until we are put into a situation like soccer that we see just how different our normal is. And to be honest, it's hard and it hurts.
It's not that we are in denial- we know what we're battling against- it's more that I have hopes and dreams for our kids and sometimes, things like this makes me have to re-evalute what those are. I don't expect him to be a rocket scientist (even though I'm sure there are some out there with ASD). It's the thing about it being a 'spectrum'. How can you have some savants and some that are diagnosed with retardation? How can you have some that go on to be successful in life- be it career, marriage, kids, what ever- and others that live at home without any form of communication and hardly any basic life skills. Which does our little guy fall under? I don't know. I hope for the best knowing that worst might be there. No one has an answer for us. We just have to keep doing what we can, what we feel is best for our son, and for us as a family.
Even with all these feelings of doubt and sadness of the battle ahead- we are ever so thankful for the wonderful little boy we do have. He's a great hugger, gives us kisses, loves tickles and play time. Has a great laugh and a funny sense of humour. And overall, he is a super sweet little boy and we 'heart' him very very much.
No comments:
Post a Comment